


Maybe Ask For Help Once In A While?

by artbyweb86



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:21:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24341239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artbyweb86/pseuds/artbyweb86
Summary: Buck has been acting strangely all day. What's going on?
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV), Evan “Buck” Buckley & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 248
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Maybe Ask For Help Once In A While?

Eddie had been concerned about Buck from the beginning of their shift. He came into the firehouse with the usual energy, pumping up everyone before the day started. Calls had been light and easy. On the small breaks that they had Buck went from excited to quiet in matter of seconds. Sometimes disappearing into the locker room, mumbling to himself. He would come back with a smile and would ease into a conversation with anyone in his vicinity. 

“Hey Buck, you wanna come over and watch a movie with me and Chris?”

Buck almost seemed startled out of a trance. He had already packed up and was just about out the door.

“Oh, hey Eddie. Rain check? I have a few errands to catch up on.”

“Hey, no problem. See you tomorrow.”

Buck nodded, almost hesitating and then made his way to his car.

Eddie had a few more things to do in the station before he had to leave. He then ran a few things by the captain before heading out.

He made his way to his car and stopped.

Buck’s car was still there. Strange. He had left almost 30 minutes ago.

He made his way the window. 

He gasped as he noticed Buck’s tense figure.

Buck was gripping the steering wheel, hands tense and knuckles white. His eyes were closed and eyebrows scrunched as if in pain. Breathing was fast and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

Eddie tried calling his name. But no reaction. 

He tapped on the glass. A slight flinch. Breathing hitched.

He jiggled the door handle, but the door was locked.

“Hey Buck? It’s Eddie. Can you open the door? Can you tell me what’s going on? I can help.”

Buck just seemed to fold in on himself and shook his head.

Eddie knocked on the window again. When that didn’t work, he put down his bag and looked inside to see if he had anything that might useful to open the door. He knew the tools at the station could be of use, but didn’t want to risk putting him in more of a panic than he already was.

He pulled out his phone and called Buck. The phone lit up on his seat, but it appeared to be on silent. He scratched his forehead in frustration.

“Buck, you’re ok! You’re safe! Wherever your mind is right now, you gotta breathe through it and come back to the present. Remember when you helped me? When I had a flashback from my wartime days. I was able to feel your hand on my chest, breathing in sync with you. I want to be able to help you. Please unlock the door.”

Bobby had a strange feeling when he saw Eddie knocking on the window of Buck’s car. He couldn’t hear what Eddie was saying, but the tone in his voice was scared and nervous. He glanced at Hen and Chimney sitting in the back of the ambulance, drinking coffee and chatting away. They must have sensed something as they turned toward Bobby. They started to get up, but he put up a finger as if to say wait. They nodded and sat back down, but alert and ready to take action.

He made his way over to the car where he could hear Eddie repeating the same phrase over and over. 

“Remember to breathe. Stay with me. That it, you’re doing good.”

Bobby placed his hand on Eddie’s shoulder as if to say he would take over.

He glanced in and saw that Buck had indeed calmed down, but was still tense. Shaking a little from adrenaline or being ill. He didn’t know yet. They had to get him out.

“Hey, son. Can you open your eyes for me?”

Buck took a deep breath and slowly opened his eyes. Glancing in their direction.

“That’s so good. You’re doing so good.”

That earned a small smile from Buck. Just a small side twitch. But that was enough to motivate Bobby to keep going with the small steps.

“OK, can you let go of the steering wheel and sit back in your seat?”

Buck stayed put for a second and then leaned back, closing his eyes again. 

“Alright, when you are ready, please unlock the door for us. Can you do that?”

Buck again took a big breath in and released it. He sat for a minute and then unlocked the door.

He and Eddie let out a small sigh of relief. 

They opened the door slowly and he motioned for Hen and Chimney to be at the ready. They gathered some supplies and made their way over, but kept a respectful distance. Concern etched in their faces.

As soon as Bobby touched Buck’s arm, the young man started sobbing. Tears pouring down his face.

Bobby pulled Buck out of the car and enveloped him in a hug. Eddie putting a comforting hand on the back of his neck. 

“Im sorry.” Buck whispered into Bobby’s shoulder.

Bobby pulled Buck back enough so he could see his face, still gipping his shoulders as if he were a life line. 

“Hey, none of that. Everyone is entitled to a breakdown. Can you tell me what happened? What brought this on?”

Buck finally looked up and almost started crying again when he saw Eddie and Chimney and Hen standing near him. He shook his head, gathering his thoughts.

“I was trying to motivate myself to go to the pier today. I haven’t been there since they repaired it and I finally psyched myself up to go after shift. And then with everything that I’ve been through just came flooding in at once. With my leg, the embolism, the tsunami, lawsuit, almost loosing Eddie, and now Abby and the million things in between. I just lost it. I couldn’t function.”

“Oh, Buck.” It was Eddie this time who pulled him in a hug. A few stray tears falling from his eyes.

Hen spoke up. “Hey, remember what you told Bobby when we found him after the plane crash rescue? After he mocked my bend in the wind metaphor.” Bobby snorted, shook his head, smiling.

Buck shook his head. Too tired to think straight.

“You told Bobby, maybe ask for help, once in a while.”

He nodded, the memory coming back to him, as if it happened yesterday.

“I acted like everything was fine after I recovered from the rebar through my skull. I mean I was fine physically, but mentally I was all over the place. Like, why me? Bobby helped me get through it. But I waited too long to say anything. I broke down in the changing room.” Chimney chimed in.

"And me, with my fighting."

“We’ve been really good at helping each other. But maybe also, too good at bottling things up. I think this needs to be a wake up call. We could get hurt on the job because of these distractions. Tell me, or tell someone and we can put in a substitute. No questions asked. That being said. Buck, I want you to take the rest of the week off. No arguments. It’s only a couple days, being its Wednesday.”

“I’ll take him home Cap.” Eddie said.

“Good, you have the rest of the week off, too.”

Eddie helped Buck gather the things from his car and helped the exhausted man into his truck. He went back to Buck’s truck to move it to a parking spot and out of the way. He would get help to bring it home later.

He hopped into the driver seat and glanced at his passenger. The man looked exhausted. He had been working himself to the bone each shift. Was he trying to prove something after the lawsuit, and make up for lost time, friendships and work? The man put 200% of his effort into the work. Red’s death and situation seemed to have a big impact on his as well. How did he not see that he had a big family right here?

For all the effort that Buck put into making sure everyone around his was happy and well cared for, he seemed to neglect himself in the whole process. 

He had a plan cooking in his head.

They had been driving for a few minutes in silence. Buck had his eyes closed, breathing was even.

Eddie poked Buck’s hand, and then rested his hand palm up on the center console. Buck looked at Eddie and then his hand and smiled. He grabbed it and squeezed, as if it was a life line. They stayed like that, no conversation, for the rest of the ride home.

For the next couple days, Buck stayed over at Eddie’s. He slept most of the time. Finally able to let his body catch up on the much needed rest. Eddie made sure he was well fed and hydrated.

His plan was coming together nicely. 

Friday came around and Buck was sitting at the table in the kitchen with Eddie and Christopher eating pancakes. Buck had insisted on cooking them. He always made the best. Chocolate chip.

The doorbell rang. Eddie got up to answer it.

He came back to the kitchen with Bobby.

“Bobby? Eddie, what’s going on?”

“Nothing bad. Since we have off today. We are all going to the beach. Next to the pier.”

Buck panicked a little. “What? No! I can’t do it.”

“Hey, it’s gonna be OK. One step at a time. And we will be with you the whole way. Chimney, Maddie, Hen and Karen and Denny are all there now, saving us a spot. And Harry and May are in the car waiting. Athena will try and join later.”

“Hey Bucky! It’s OK! I’m going. I’m a little scared too, but knowing you will be there, it helps.”

Buck melted at that and gave Christopher a big hug, who giggled happily. 

“I don’t have my bathing suit or beach stuff.”

“You do! I brought it over when you were sleeping. It’s in the bathroom.”

He excused himself and quickly changed and came back, looking ready for a day at the beach.

“We have chairs and umbrellas and games in the trunk. Chimney and Maddie are in charge of games. Hen has the food.”

They walked out the cars and Buck had to laugh.

May and Harry had chalked the car windows to say BEACH OR BUST. SURFS UP! They drew palm trees and the sun and various beach themes on the windows of the cars they would be taking. They even wore Hawaiian skits. May had a flower in her hair. She stuck one in Christopher’s hair, who’s giggle became infectious. Everyone was laughing now, they all had to catch their breath. Buck wiped a tear from his eye.

They finally arrived at the beach and being it was Friday and school was still in session, the beach was relatively empty. Buck tensed up as they parked. The pier wasn’t that far from where they were. The new wood beaming brightly in the sunlight. Eddie reached out to grab his hand and squeezed, saying, “you got this!” He breathed through the panic and got out. He helped bring the beach stuff down to where the rest of the group was. They all cheered when they arrived.

They had set up a small tent where the food was stored. Protection from the seagulls Denny stated.

Corn Hole and bocce ball were set up next to the food.

Buck had a great time. He played the games with everyone. He ate until he was full. But his brain was telling him that he had to go on the pier soon.

He sat on his towel to watch his coworkers smiling and laughing. But they were more than coworkers, they were his family. How he missed that detail, he didn’t know. Maybe subconsciously he was keeping them at arms length. Knowing one day they would all leave and he would be alone. He shook his head. He had to stop thinking like that. 

Christopher came up to him and grabbed his hand. 

“Let’s go to the water. Don’t have to swim. But I wanna feel the water on my feet.”

He hesitated, but the eager look on Chris’s face had all his fears rush away.

He slowly walked down the water, concentrating on Chris. Helping him so he wouldn’t fall in the uneven sand.

He nervously stuck his toes in the water and was surprised at its warmth. It felt good. He wiggled his toes more. Concentrating on the noise of the water. It wasn’t so bad. No big waves rushing at him. He could do this. Chris wrapped his arm around his waist and he in turn wrapped his arm around his shoulder. He didn’t even have to bend anymore to do that. Huh…when did that happen?

Eddie walked up next to them and stood on the other side of Christopher. Hand on his head. They stood there in silence for a few minutes. Enjoying the cool wind on their faces.

Christopher eventually got bored and went back to see what Denny and Harry were doing.

He and Eddie stood next to each other. Letting the little waves lap at their feet and legs.

Feeling brave, he poked Eddie’s side and motioned to the pier. Eddie nodded and they started walking back to the boardwalk. He had planned in advance if that happened for the the rest of the team to follow a little later. That way they can comfort him and encourage him, if he started to panic.

They walked in silence, side by side, shoulder bumping into each other.

They finally got to the pier and stopped. Small steps, Eddie reminded him. He would go at his pace.

He looked around and saw some familiar games and some new ones. The ferris wheel had been replaced with a slightly smaller one, but was not in service yet. Maybe the Photo Booth will be there. Maybe he and Chris can replace the old ones he lost during the tsunami.

He grabbed Eddie’s hand again and squeezed. He was ready to move forward. 

They slowly walked forward, taking in the sounds of the games being played. 

He was glad it wasn’t too crowded yet. He wasn’t sure if that would set off any warning bells. He was never claustrophobic, but sometimes being around too many people, reminded him of being underwater. Struggling to find the surface. His heart sped up a bit and he stopped. Eddie watched him and seemed to understand that he needed a break.

A minute to get his mind in check and he was ready to move again. 

The benches all seemed to be in the same spots before and he stopped at one that he thought was the one he and Christopher sat at. He sat and Eddie followed. Looking around, he hadn’t realized that they had been almost at the end of the pier, water now underneath him.

He did it. He was able to face his fear, with the help of his family.

He hadn’t noticed that they were now on the pier too. A few paces away.

Getting up, he faced the water and watched the waves. They were a little bigger this time. But not scary. He gave one loud shout, as if to say I did it! And began to cry all over again.

Eddie just held him until he was out of tears.

They stood there for a while and just stared out at the water.

He didn’t know how to thank Eddie, his best friend, his family. A kiss to the cheek seemed the best logical step. So he turned to plant the kiss on his cheek, when Eddie turned his head as well. He stopped, shocked. They were looking into each others eyes now.

Eddie’s eyes flicked down to his mouth for a second, and then back to his eyes.

They had a silent communication and knew what the outcome was going to be.

He didn’t know who made the first move, but they were now kissing. Lips soft and warm.

They broke apart when they heard cheering and whistling.

Both smiling like teenagers, they glanced at their team. Bobby, now joined by Athena were beaming like proud parents. The kids were clapping and cheering. Hen, Chimney, and Maddie were slipping each other money.

“Hen, CHIM?!” Eddie shouted the same time Buck yelled. “Maddie?!” 

Hen yelled back. “It was only a matter of time.” Before accepting money from Athena.

They gasped in exaggerated shock, and all laughed.

Buck snuck in another kiss and they sat on the bench again. This time Christopher joined them. Bobby snapping a picture of the newly formed family.

The healing had begun.

With his family by his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Thank you for all the lovely comments!
> 
> Check out my other works, but this one kinda got lost with the many submissions when I posted it. I think you will like it too.
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/24076570
> 
> Stay Safe. Stay Happy. Be Kind.


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